Horoscope...wearily correct

Leo

By Rick Levine

You may feel anxious today, and your uneasiness can get the best of you if you have been working hard to put a relationship in order. Even if you made inroads recently, there still may be something that's not exactly right. Although you could be overwhelmed with all the stress, don't throw in the towel yet. You have already come through the hardest part, but it will take more time to see how much progress has already occurred.

I receive my daily horoscope on my IGoogle page. Today when I came home from work...I had to start making phone calls again. Phone calls to the doctors office and the pharmacy in Lindsey. The doctors office for my specialist is always a very hard place to reach in the first place.

I was hoping perhaps that we could get in on Friday afternoon. When I finally got ahold of the receptionist..I was informed that the doctor is only there in the morning..and he is in the OR all day on Monday...which is already pushing the time we are supposed to go see him for our first appointment. We are supposed to go see him between days 9-11...which of course just happens to be on this weekend again. So here we are stuck..again.

The receptionist told me she would get him to look at the chart and see if she can get me Monday after he is done..late in the afternoon. She however..never called me back like she promised on the phone earlier. I can slowly feel my stress level go up sometimes.

So tomorrow we try to call again..so I can try and book them off for work somehow...which is going to be difficult...considering I am working until 2pm. Work has this insane rule about having to let the one lady know on Mondays for the week after...since we only know our schedules one week at a time. Here is hoping that things are not too crazy and we can get through to work this all out.

This time was supposed to start off better..and so far it is looking just as chaotic right about now. At least we know what to expect somewhat based on the last month we went through. Step by step we move on....closer to our family goal...I hope!

Still have time- Begin Again

Still have time- The Strange Familiar

Break the ice around your heart
Don't never be afraid
You know it's not too late for you
To take another chance in life
Want to roll the dice and
Start over
You still have time

These are lyrics from the song called "Still have time"-The Strange Familiar. If you have not had a chance to listen to any of their music..well as it says you still have time. Look them up!

Lately things have been pretty rough and interesting. Especially since in a month from now is when we had experienced this whole miscarriage ordeal. This past month we had our first IUI. We thought that maybe we would perhaps get lucky and have a break for once and have something be a little easier on us. Road Blocks are obstacles that seem to keep popping up on us..no matter what we decide to do.

We were told to wait until two weeks after our IUI  to test and if we did not still cycle(get period) around then it would be a good sign to test and come get blood work done. So on the 20th I tested and it was negative...thinking it might be way too early according to what happened the last time I was almost pregnant,,I waited until Monday and still got a negative result, I am not going to lie..after having more than 2 1/2 years of negatives...it really starts to bring you down. You become a little more realistic..not getting your hopes up.

So we went onward. I continue to take all of the progesterone suppositories...which let me tell you..also gives you fake symptoms like I never fall asleep on the couch as an example..it happened a couple times..including one time while visiting at someones house. Some days I felt like I was peeing every 10 mins..others days I was fine. I felt sick some days and others nothing at all.

Around Weds I thought I should go and get a blood test done to see if we are prego..due to when the doctor forced us to cycle we should have probably got something already. I called Doug to see if we could go to the clinic..unfortunately...the lab in the specialists office changed its hours again. So we had to pay the parking amount of $4.00 anyway. We then proceeded to go to another lab close by and ended up getting blood taken but had to pay $6.00 for 31mins in the place. So we waited again.

By Thursday I started to spot and by the looks of it all get something. Which brought back bad memories of deja vu. Last time this all happened the week after I should of already had my cycle. It was not until a week and a half after that I had any symptoms or a positive test. So i waited to hear from the doctor and see what happened next.

Today it became obvious and worse that it was not just implantation bleeding like i had hoped. The pain is incredible. I get it pretty bad already..but I believe the hormones make it way worse. Doug had phoned the doctor for me..since i was at work all day long. It was a negative blood test as well.

So here we are...starting over. It will be a new start of another IUI process. We are feeling very alone sometimes..scared..unaware of what is to happen next and completely out of control of what is going to happen. This month could mean lots of appointments for ultrasounds and leading up to what could happen.

I do not think enough ppl are really greatful for how easy they have it...how hard they did not even have to try or go through so much. Most couples would not be together at this point..would be blaming each other. So many ppl we know just have to think about being pregnant and it happens. Pregnancy should not be taken lightly. It is a life changing decision..a gift. Not an accident...something that is meant to be in your life by God. I may be a little cynical due to what all we have gone through. It is not that I am not happy for those around me...we just really do not find it fair..especially since some ppl we know do not cherish and respect and realize they are lucky for what they have.

The strength and partnership Doug and I have is so strong and we are so lucky to have each other. We are greatful each and every day for our love..our family and friends. Our bond is like no other..this upcoming Wednesday we will be celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary, we have been together a total of 7 years altogether this summer..crazy how time flys when you are having fun together.

Step by step...we still have time..our hearts beat on..though sad..we begin again. Our faith is strong and we will get through this..despite all the negatives.

Our Very first IUI

I worked this morning..starting take the uterine lining pills along with all of my metformin. As of this morning I am taking a pill cocktail in the morning. I must say it is very colourful...tomorrow I add onto my list progesterone suppositories. Who would have thought you had to take a pill up your who ha for something other than a yeast infection. Not gonna lie...not something I am looking forward too..considering I will have to do it 2 times a day for a very long while.

Anywho...on to what is very important which happened today. At 3:15 Doug came home..had to "Cum in a cup" as he would say..for his sample..before we left for the doctor. His joke is that we both got to play with plastic today..haha. We got there and knew it would be a bit of a wait...but our procedure has to be done in a certain amount of time..due to it is time critical after it is washed. So we sat there for awhile and got called in before ppl that had been waiting since around 2pm..I was largely hated i bet. Little do they all know what was actually happening..then maybe they might understand but I doubt it.

We get in the room..after emptying my bladder..strip from the waist down as normal..and continue to wait once again. There was a really neat canvas art piece in the room..new I believe for we have been in every one of the rooms in this office and had never seen it there before. It was all divided into little canvas cubes..showing different coloured eggs..all shaded and placed perfectly. My little joke was "Nice eggs doc". I did not actually say that to the doctor..but I told Doug and we kinda giggled a little. For we are playing with my eggs. I know corny right? 

So the doctor finally comes in...was frantically looking for some light for his head that he wears. He wanted it so badly...for he had just put batteries in it today and it works better. To be honest it looks like he was going spalunking or something. Kinda reminds me of a miners had light. He tells me he is going to try and get it precise as can be..I even got heated Duck Lips. Yes I said Duck Lips..that is what they look like to me..so that is what i call them. It makes it a little easier to accept I guess. He warns me about some discomfort and possible pain. Well it hurt like a %$##@&*(@#$%^&!!!! I figure I really should not swear on here..so fill in the blanks if you must. He told me if I did not feel any discomfort...there is definitely something wrong with me. Well the faces I was making..due to a lot of pain and weird sensations were hilarious. He used a catheter to inject the special guests...Seamen as I like to call them. Then lets me know we have to wait for 10 mins before I can get up. Doug and I played eye spy in the tiny little room ...cause what else do you do after an IUI and your not allowed to laugh or move.

After it was all done..We went out to see the doctor..He basically told us to Have as much SEX as possible..and to insure is that it would not affect anything. We got a jolly congratulations and goodluck...call me in two weeks if you don't get your period. Before we left we paid the $125.00 to the secretary...got a bloodwork sheet for later for if we need it..and we were on our way..back to walmart that is..to get the next drugs.

Here we are...all inseminated and such...hopefully carrying a new baby or babies. Who knows..and if not..we wait until next month again to start this whole process all over. Now the fun part..trying to figure out when I want to see my RMT and taking lots of interesting pills..here goes nothing.

As I am laying here and writing all of this on my couch, I am curious..excited...and thinking warm happy thoughts of a possible creation.

My date with Zonare went better than expected- "Boy do I have a story for you".

Today was our first appointment. I was scared..nervous..excited and looking forward to starting off the new year in a new direction. Today was different..first before our appointment our microwave that we have had for all of 4 years and a bit decided it was time to hit the appliance graveyard. It stopped heating up Doug's lunch and let out a burning smell in our kitchen..and started to make some bad noises. So time to get a new one.

After Lunch we headed on our way to the doctors office. Our appointment was at 1pm. We thought this is great..first appointment..we will get a baseline and see what happens from there. We waited a little bit as we usually do. But we were the first appointment of the day..so we did not have to wait too long..which is good..it would of made my stomache feel even worse. I was so nervous i could only eat a  Oatmeal to go bar...for i have to still be taking the metformin.

I get in there and we do the normal...strip..lay on the table we are going to do the internal ultrasound. Today he had a trainee with him..so you usually here a little more of what is actually going on. I was lying there and said the doctor.."I was just wondering if you see my ovaries as very swollen or enlarged...due to I have had a lot of pain this week and last when i was taking the clomide". I got a swiftly answered" I will look when we get there". So he is looking around using the Zonare machine..the ultrasound machine used for internal and external ultrasounds.  It kinda looks like a really high tech sex toy..but is used to get information. Giggle.

As the doctor is looking around he says "Woah" as he sees my right ovary is huge and looks like it is fully there with eggs ready to drop as it pleases quite soon. This is a shock to all of us since this is day 12..and we are all not expecting to start this process part until later next week. He also decided to ask me where i was hiding my left ovary, for he could not find it for a while. My lining on the other hand is not great but also good..It should be a .7 and is at a 6 something. I am really not sure what that means..but its not the worst it could be . So before we left we were told that I am doing the procedure tomorrow afternoon..which is news to me. I was given a couple different prescriptions for this whole thing. I have to get Ovidrel a HCG injection tonight. I am to start taking a drug for my uterine lining to thicken up so the egg will attach...and to start taking progesterone suppositories after the procedure is done tomorrow on the following day for almost up to 12 weeks. The progesterone helps the pregnancy to stay with us.

So we leave there thinking this is good news...we are a little nervous. We had to ask Holly to come over for sure tonight now..to administer the needle. Yes I am a wimp...when it comes to needles..but there is a lot of people i know that are too. Just not something i really want to do myself.  We had to cancel a work trip that Doug was supposed to do tomorrow..due to he would not make it back in time for our appointment. And last of all..get the drugs we need. Little did i know that was going to be a task in itself. I dropped off all 3 prescriptions at walmart. I was told it would be a hour and a half.  We had a plan..drop it off..pick up Doug's dad from work..come back..get the prescription..and buy a new microwave...come home and have dinner.

Did I mention that nothing in this process has been easy. I came to pick up the prescripton and I was told they do not have two of the 3 and they would not have them in until tomorrow. Which does not help us at all since we need them for tonight. We asked the pharmasist to call a couple of places to check and see..she called 2 and then said she is too busy. We were livid..I am super surprised that Doug did not freak on the woman. She would not give us the prescription back due to half of one was filled and the other one was on the same note. The pharmasist gave us a list of numbers to phone to see if any other pharmacy had the Ovidrel around town. The one drug we do not need until the day after the procedure, so we can wait to get it . But the Ovidel is  a must. So we are walking around the store..as Doug is called pharmacy after pharmacy to see if they have it. We are trying to buy a microwave and all I can think about is..how the hell are we gonna do this now. We leave frustrated..we have to phone the pharmasist at walmart back by 7pm to let her know if she needs to fax it over. We continue to call when we get home. Finally..Holly phones one of Lindsey's Shoppers..and lucky we are..one of them have it in. Doug had been called all night and all of them did not have it in and would only have it by late morning.

Doug calls walmart..tells them to fax it over there and we would drive there to pick it up. So back to Lindsey we go..Ash,Holly and myself. Roadtripping for drugs. Now that is something I never would have thought I would be doing. We drive all the way there..and walmart still had not faxed or called back the shoppers in lindsey..so I phone Doug back and let him know. He calls them again and asks them to resend it..since they were having fax issues...the shoppers had not received it yet..(shakes head at walmart). So finally they fax it over and we are on our way to getting the injection covered. Now atleast we know a place that happens to have it on hand. When your Ovaries say go and your Doctor says we are doing this...we are on our way to the next step.

Tomorrow is the big day..the first IUI for us..in this brand new year. We made it home after waiting for 10 minutes at shoppers after the fax went through and drove back to have a late dinner. Hard work I would say. Tomorrow I work early and the procedure is going to be done after 4pm. Not gonna lie..nervous as all hell. More drugs..new procedure...kinda crazy...then we wait for the cycle process. Oh boy what a day we have been having.

We went in for a baseline, we got a jumpstart. My date with the Zonare machine..definitely went better than expected.